Mindfulness Matters

There has been a lot of talk about mindfulness over the last few years, and many of us have likely set a goal for ourselves to be more mindful. But what can happen is that instead of implementing mindful practices, what we do can lead to mind-fullness.

If you were to count the number of times you said or thought to yourself “I should…” throughout the day, would it be a lot?

“I should have eaten a healthier lunch” or “I shouldn’t have used my phone so much before bed” or “I should be grateful instead of complaining” are just a few examples of shoulds that many people experience related to mindfulness.

But really, mindfulness has nothing to do with changing anything you do - though that might happen indirectly as a consequence. When we start to think about all of the things we should do or should change, our mind starts taking over. We start to focus on the future - what we should do next - or the past - what we should have done instead. The truth is, there are no shoulds or even need-to’s when practicing mindfulness. Those thoughts can fill our minds and distract us from what we actually want to achieve.

The difference between being mindful and mind-full is this: When we are mindful we are present. When we are mind-full we are not.

Being in a mindful state is actually achieved by creating more distance between you and your mind.

Thoughts will always arise and that’s perfectly okay - part of mindfulness is being able to observe those thoughts without judging or becoming attached. And one of the best ways to do this is to step out of your mind and into your body.

Mindful Eating
It’s common to hear people say they want to be more mindful with their eating habits. Unfortunately, it seems to be just as common for mindful eating to be associated with nutritional value, caloric intake, and often demonizing certain foods as ‘bad’. None of that has anything to do with mindfulness.

So, if mindful eating isn’t about eating healthy, then what is it about, and why is it so important for our health?

Next time you eat, begin to observe your thoughts, actions and urges. Do you sit down to eat, or do you eat while walking or driving because you are in a hurry? Do you take a moment to appreciate the flavors, scents, and textures, or are you distracted by your phone or the most recent episode of your favorite show? Do you automatically go back for a second dish, or do you take time to breath, digest, and listen to what your body needs?

Mindful eating isn’t about what you eat, but how you eat. To be mindful is to be present. To allow yourself to experience all of the sensations happening inside of you, while noticing what is going on outside of you, and doing that with full acceptance. When you are present, you are able to feel. When we feel, our mind and our body are communicating, and it’s up to us to listen to what they’re both saying.

I mentioned before that mindfulness may indirectly lead to changes in what you do, and that includes how you eat. When you are fully present, fully able to listen to your body and feel every sensation, you might start to hear that your body is guiding you in a different direction than the one you are used to. You might start to notice that you feel more energized, satisfied, or content after eating certain foods and less so after eating others. You might start to pause before you go for your usual second serving only to realize your body doesn’t actually want it, and then it’s up to you whether or not you respect that.

Some days eating a big bowl of vegetables is exactly what my body needs, and other days it’s asking for a soft, warm brownie. In either case, I can choose to be mindful during the experience of eating, because mindfulness does not depend on anything outside of me.

Mindfulness with Social Media
Similar to mindful eating, being mindful with how we interact with online platforms can be incredibly eye opening once we have the ability to truly feel and listen.

Lets begin by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with spending time scrolling through social media every once in a while if that’s something that gives you fulfillment. Social media can be a powerful tool, especially if you are like me and utilize it for work, self-exploration, or networking.

Many times, the negative effects of social media on our mental health stem from critical and negative thoughts and emotions that can be managed and even diminished with presence and awareness without judgement.

Next time you find yourself reaching for your phone, try to tap into your inner body’s sensations. Consider what your intentions and expectations are when opening your go-to social media platform. When the first post pops up, take a breath and see if you can identify the emotions that come up inside of you. Are you excited? Anxious? Jealous? Sad? Bored? What does that emotion feel like in your body, and what urge do you have because of it? Do you feel inclined to keep scrolling, to hit ‘like’, to comment or share, or something else? Take a few more breaths, focusing your awareness on your body or on the sounds you hear around you and check in again with yourself to see if those emotions have faded.

With practice, you might find that scrolling through your feed doesn’t actually give you much fulfillment so you may find yourself doing it less. Or perhaps you might find that the way you feel when viewing the accounts you follow doesn’t align with how you want to feel and so you start to be more selective in who you allow into that space.

There are definitely times that I still find myself mindlessly scrolling through my feed, and when I do, I try my best to do it without judging (realizing you are doing it is the first step in being aware!). I don’t consider it bad or good to spend more or less time on social media, but when I am mindful about how I spend that time, I know my body and mind feel better when I am intentional with it and when it is limited.

Mindfully Complaining
For whatever reason, mindfulness has taken on a good vibes only connotation, as if you can’t be mindful and have a reaction that is angry, sad, or some form of complaint. Sure, the more you practice mindfulness, the less often you’ll find yourself reacting and the better the overall vibes will be. But that’s not to say that you can’t be mindful when getting hung up on something that doesn’t go your way.

It all comes back to awareness. Awareness without judgement. And the first step is to recognize that you are doing it.

When you find yourself complaining, whether that’s aloud to another person or in your own head as a thought, start to pay attention to the words you are using and the emotions behind them. Does rainy weather make you feel sad? Does having to work overtime make you feel angry? Does looking at yourself in the mirror make you feel upset or unworthy? Allow yourself to feel the emotions that are there (without judgement) and remember that complaining is a natural part of being human. Tell yourself this is a moment of complaint and acknowledge that these emotions are your body’s way of telling you something.

Once you are aware, you have the ability to reframe the thoughts or the experiences you are having. One incredibly powerful way to do this is to bring it into neutral terms.

When you hear yourself say “this weather is awful,” you can shift your thought to “it’s raining today”. When you think to yourself “it’s so unfair that I have to work overtime this weekend” you can shift your thought to “I have a job to do.” When you find yourself being critical of your appearance and think “I hate that my belly has grown,” you can shift your words to “My body is my own.” None of that is good, nor bad. It just is.

Mindfulness is like a muscle that needs to be exercised in order to get stronger.
These have just been a few examples of how you can bring mindfulness into your life.
Just remember, it’s not about what you do, but how you do it, and it really has nothing to do with filling your mind.