Uninterrupted: Letting Your Inner River Flow

The first week of our Tantra Yoga Teacher Training is wrapping up, and it’s hard to really believe how much has already happened in such a short time.

Every morning we start our day with an hour of meditation. This looks different every day - sometimes we use dance, or visualisation, or pranayama. Then we practice the Kaula Tantra series, where time seems to stop and the three hour practice feels like a relaxing 30 minutes.

In the afternoons, we have different classes - on the psychology of chakras, shamanism, dance, sound and senses, and so on. Our first class on Applied Tantric Wisdom involved an exercise that I feel compelled to share.

Our amazing teacher first began by sharing a huge amount of knowledge on the relationship between Kaula Tantra Yoga and Tantra (more on this in another blog!), and then introduced our first exercise - a mono-dialogue.

A mono-dialogue is a ritual that you can perform with family, friends, and partners. It’s a way to practice active listening and active speaking, and to create a container for expression. It’s a tool to go beyond our fears.

Think, for a moment, about the conversations you have from day to day.

How do those conversations flow? How are they directed? How much time does one person have to share their words before the other interjects?

If you are someone who thinks they are a good listener, as many of us do, consider how you practice active listening? Do you ask follow-up questions? Do you share phrases of acknowledgement?

And when you are talking, sharing something about yourself, do you seek a response from the person you are talking to?

How do you hold space for others to express themselves, and equally, how deeply can you open yourself up in a space that is held for you?

Those are the exact questions that arose during and after this exercise, and I encourage each and every one of you to give it a try.

Between two rounds, we essentially had 25 minutes to talk to a partner without interruption.

We always share a bit about our experiences after class, and most everyone found it to be a powerful exercise. Some caught themselves wanting to interject with questions or comments as they were listening, while others found themselves almost anticipating questions or comments as they were talking.

Not only did it bring more awareness to the tendencies we have when communicating with others, it also allowed a steady stream of thought to transform and flow without external influence, which can sometimes lead to tangents, circles, and depth that wouldn’t otherwise be achieved. It allows us to let our inner river flow.

So, how did we do this?

Our teacher posed the prompt ‘what is moving you right now'. We each found a partner and started the ritual by sitting comfortably facing each other, closing our eyes, and taking three deep breaths, with a deep sign during the exhale.

When we opened our eyes, we held each other’s gaze for a long, beautiful moment, before asking permission to continue with speaking.

My first task was to listen.

For ten minutes, my partner was able to speak uninterrupted. When she had no words, she would hum, mumble - anything to keep the sound going - until something else popped up in her dialogue.

For ten minutes, I was able to listen actively without making a single sound. No ‘uh huh’, no ‘ahh’, no confirmation, validation, or follow up questions. Just listening.

And when the ten minutes was up, we closed our eyes, took a few deep breaths, then switched.

Talking for ten minutes is not something that came easily for me. There was a lot of ‘lalala dedede dododod’, ‘ummmmm’, and ‘I’m sure there’s more let me just keep talking and see what comes up’.

But as challenging as it might have been, each and every one of us did it.

And when the second person’s 10 minutes was up, we switched again, with round two lasting 15 minutes for each person.

We found that in the second round, we often revisited the same points as in the first round, but with more depth and detail. Many people shared that the fear or anxiety of ‘what will I say for all that time’ lessened with the second round, once they had already gone through the first and experienced the ability to express freely without judgement.

Not only is this a great way to get to know someone, but it can also be a powerful tool for understanding both sides of a disagreement or making a decision.

Ideally this is done in at least 4 rounds, and the time period can range from 10 to 30 minutes for each person to talk.

Sound like something you would try? Let us know how it goes for you!